archangel-bonding asked: //OOC: just like there is Sexually Oblivius Sherlcok, we should make Sexually Oblivious Stannis into a meme. He's so perfect.// Not OOC: Your Grace, how do the shadows exactly work? Do you somehow sync with them in your sleep?

What shadows? I don’t know what you are talking about.

ooc: Of course!

Anonymous asked: Did you have sex with Melisandre because of her hot body or just because you want a son?

I do not understand what has led you to believe these baseless rumors against me, but I would never be unfaithful to my wife.

Anonymous asked: I can understand not liking Melisandre, but is it really necessary to use sexist language?

Sexist? I do not understand your meaning.

Anonymous asked: What do you think of Lady Melisandre? Personally, I mean.

She is one of my trusted advisors, that is all.

Anonymous asked: I bet you have really tense shoulders. You should get your wife to give you a massage. Or you could ask Melisandre. Or Davos. Or me. ;)

No.

Anonymous asked: Have you tried wearing a mouth guard at night? :P For the teeth grinding?

No, why would my mouth need a guard? It does not need a guard to keep it from grinding.

Anonymous asked: Have you died? D':

No, why is everyone assuming I am dead?

Anonymous asked: flog the one eyed snake? do you enjoy giving head and getting it in return

NO

Anonymous asked: Would you consider a co-regency? With a queen of great talent and compassion, of course.

No, as queen such as that does not exist in Westeros.

Anonymous asked: Don't you ever get toothache or a sore jaw from grinding your teeth?

No.